What would you like to Instagram?

How waiters should greet people

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Student: A teacher!

What did he tell people in order to make them avoid taking it?

Eschew! Eschew!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call an astronaut that doesn't like being touched?

A personal space man

What time do philosophers like to visit the shopping mall?

At the Schopenhauer.

Greet Jokes More Greet Jokes

How do genetically engineered car salesmen from Boston greet their customers?

Hey, gattaca? GATTACA?

How do you greet a Rastafarian who's out of work?

Jahbless

Instagram Jokes More Instagram Jokes

Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account?

Because he only had 12 followers.

Who will I share the sunset with now?

Sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

How long will the pizza be?

The waiter replies "About 12 inches."

How do you make a pig float?

WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.