Instagram Jokes

What is a heroin addict's favorite website?

Instagram.

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How heavy is a hipster?

One thousand instagrams

How do you weigh a Hipster?

In instagrams

Why was the A.I. afraid of instagram?

Post-upload skepticism

How much does a hipster weigh?

An Instagram.

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life?

Selfless

How did the girl with fetal alcohol syndrome tag a picture of herself on instagram?

Nophiltrum

What do you call a reliable coke dealer?

Instagram

Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account?

Because he only had 12 followers.

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Why is Instagram not working?

But "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

Who will I share the sunset with now?

Sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

How do you make Instagram worthy coffee?

Nofilter

What would you like to Instagram?

How waiters should greet people

What did the girl say when she saw a photo on Instagram of an attractive couple at brunch?

Bae-goals

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

Because he was following people before instagram

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

What about Instagram?

Instagramicide IGicide Instacide Gramicide Instadead Instagone

How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

Nofilter Jokes More Nofilter Jokes

How do you make Instagram worthy coffee?

Nofilter

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Why is Instagram not working?

But "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why do graveyards have fences?

Cause everyone's dying to get in!

What kind of wine causes the most accidents?

Shartonnay

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What Should Make A Book Teacher: "What Should Be In A Book To Make It A Bestseller?

Jorkens: "A Girl On The Cover & No Cover On The Girl"

What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the magician always use trap doors during his act?

It was juts a stage he was going through.

What do Hutts use to program computers?

JabbaScript

Selfie Jokes More Selfie Jokes

Where are the humans?

We left them" AL: Why "They didn't look anything like their selfies in rl"

Why do you look surprised in all your selfies?

Didn't you know you were taking the picture

Concept Jokes More Concept Jokes

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

Why do credit cards not work in France?

They don't understand the concept of charging.