Instagram Jokes

How heavy is a hipster?

One thousand instagrams

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How do you weigh a Hipster?

In instagrams

Why was the A.I. afraid of instagram?

Post-upload skepticism

How much does a hipster weigh?

An Instagram.

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life?

Selfless

Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account?

Because he only had 12 followers.

How do you make Instagram worthy coffee?

Nofilter

What would you like to Instagram?

How waiters should greet people

What did the girl say when she saw a photo on Instagram of an attractive couple at brunch?

Bae-goals

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Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

Because he was following people before instagram

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

What about Instagram?

Instagramicide IGicide Instacide Gramicide Instadead Instagone

How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.

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Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

Why do drugs for small dogs have to be tested on larger ones first?

All canine drugs must be lab tested before their public release.

What is a drug?

A drug is a substance which when injected into a guinea pig produces a scientific paper.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

Where do bourgeois monarchists get their coffee?

Tsarbucks

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

Hipster Weigh Jokes More Hipster Weigh Jokes

How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.

How much does a hipster weigh?

An Instagram.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Need to know ASAP.

What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What does a guy drink when he wants to go out with a girl?

DATERADE

What do you call a girl on the grill?

Patty

Homeless Man Jokes More Homeless Man Jokes

What was the last thing that the homeless man heard before becoming a giant?

Go big or go home

What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why don't people drink pig's milk?

Because its a bit too sow...

Why do feminists hate Medusa?

She's always objectifying people.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

When you go for a bus ride do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs?

I prefer to ride on top but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.

What does Imperator Furiosa like to click when she logs into a website?

REMEMBER ME!!!!!!!!!!