Instagram Jokes

How heavy is a hipster?

One thousand instagrams

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How do you weigh a Hipster?

In instagrams

Why was the A.I. afraid of instagram?

Post-upload skepticism

How much does a hipster weigh?

An Instagram.

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life?

Selfless

Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account?

Because he only had 12 followers.

How do you make Instagram worthy coffee?

Nofilter

What would you like to Instagram?

How waiters should greet people

What did the girl say when she saw a photo on Instagram of an attractive couple at brunch?

Bae-goals

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Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

Because he was following people before instagram

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.

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Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What do you call a lamington that weighs a lot?

A lamingTON!

Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

Nofilter Jokes More Nofilter Jokes

How do you make Instagram worthy coffee?

Nofilter

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

Tag Jokes More Tag Jokes

What's the policy at French morgues?

Baguette and tag it.

Sob Jokes More Sob Jokes

What kind of ship never sinks?

A dictatorship. *sobs*

What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What type of drugs do ducks use?

What type of drugs to ducks use? Quack cocaine.

Why do drugs for small dogs have to be tested on larger ones first?

All canine drugs must be lab tested before their public release.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why do we all marry?

Because romance is not the only element of life, we should also know horror, terror, suspense, irony, stupidity and tragedy of life!

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin?

Because his life is at stake.

World Jokes More World Jokes

Why was the restaurant called "Out of this World"?

Because it was full of Unidentified Frying Objects.

What's the strongest plant in the world?

Eucaliftus

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

How is evolution and a Union construction job similar?

They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work.

Why didn't the Pharaoh believe he was drowning?

Because he was in deNile