Instagram Jokes

What is a heroin addict's favorite website?

Instagram.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How heavy is a hipster?

One thousand instagrams

How do you weigh a Hipster?

In instagrams

Why was the A.I. afraid of instagram?

Post-upload skepticism

How much does a hipster weigh?

An Instagram.

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life?

Selfless

How do hipsters buy their drugs?

By the instagram.

How did the girl with fetal alcohol syndrome tag a picture of herself on instagram?

Nophiltrum

What do you call a reliable coke dealer?

Instagram

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account?

Because he only had 12 followers.

Why is Instagram not working?

But "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

Who will I share the sunset with now?

Sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

How do you make Instagram worthy coffee?

Nofilter

What would you like to Instagram?

How waiters should greet people

What did the girl say when she saw a photo on Instagram of an attractive couple at brunch?

Bae-goals

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

Because he was following people before instagram

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

What about Instagram?

Instagramicide IGicide Instacide Gramicide Instadead Instagone

How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.

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Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why do girls wear so much make-up and perfume?

Because they're ugly and they stink.

What did the girl say when she saw a photo on Instagram of an attractive couple at brunch?

Bae-goals

Sob Jokes More Sob Jokes

What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

Who will I share the sunset with now?

Sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

What did the ancient Greek mother say when her sons toga got torn?

Euripides, Eumenides

What's the difference between CrossFit and a cult?

A torn ACL

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common?

They both like to pork.

How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CHOCOLATE?!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

How many people in Brazil shave?

A Brazilian.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's the difference between a religious revival and a bikers rally?

At a religious revival, they say "STAND UP FOR JESUS" At a bikers rally, they say "SIT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE"

What do you call a statue of Jesus made out of cigarettes?

Holy smokes.

Concept Jokes More Concept Jokes

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

Why do credit cards not work in France?

They don't understand the concept of charging.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.

Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us?

Why do we have to do all the work