Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account?

Because he only had 12 followers.

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Why does Jesus like Japanese food?

Because he loves miso

What do your mom and Jesus have in common?

They both got nailed

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Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

What do you get when you line up 12 girls from Kentucky?

A full set of teeth.

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How heavy is a hipster?

One thousand instagrams

How much does a hipster weigh?

An Instagram.

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Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account?

Because he only had 12 followers.