Homeless Man Jokes

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?

Nothing

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What's the difference between a hipster and a homeless man?

An Instagram account.

What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight!

What's the difference between Kanye West, an American College student, and a homeless man?

The homeless man has $7 to his name.

What's the difference between a homeless man and a trash can?

One of them gets taken in every once in a while.

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?

One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

How do you know if a homeless man has a girlfriend?

He has two clean fingers.

What does a homeless man gets for Christmas?

A cold.

Why does the homeless man only drink coffee?

He had no proper tea..

What do you call a homeless man?

A Hobo Sapien.

What did the homeless man say to the woman who asked if he wanted 20$?

Yeah.

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Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

What was the last thing that the homeless man heard before becoming a giant?

Go big or go home

What do you call a homeless man who trashes food you give him then says he only accepts cash?

A rootabaga.

What do you call two homeless men hitting each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight

How did the homeless man get so buff?

Because his workouts were in tents.

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What do a loading bar and my girlfriend have in common?

Both equally inefficient at letting me know when they are actually ready.

What will you have sir?

Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do they use to pay for things in the Vatican?

Paypal

What's the last thing the ISIS fighters' wife said before she blew herself up?

Bahhh

Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

Why did the hipsters die of dehydration?

They stayed away from the mainstream.

How did the hipster make it to the front page?

He did it before it was cool

200 Jokes More 200 Jokes

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order.

Whats the difference between a lentil and a chikpea?

I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?

One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

What do you call a holy man who works at McDonald's?

A Friar

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why did the computer programmer put up his Christmas lights on Halloween?

He always gets DEC 25 and OCT 31 confused.

What did the disappointed smoker get for Christmas?

Clothes but no cigar...

Giant Jokes More Giant Jokes

What is even bigger than an elephant?

A giant!

Why are you wearing masks?

There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Whats Black and never works?

Decaffeinated coffee, ya racist.

What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?

Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.