Drug Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

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What does a power ranger say before they do drugs?

It's morphine time!

What's wrong with the phrase "War on Drugs"?

Wars end.

What type of drugs do ducks use?

What type of drugs to ducks use? Quack cocaine.

What sort of drug does a duck use?

Quack cocaine

Why do drugs for small dogs have to be tested on larger ones first?

All canine drugs must be lab tested before their public release.

What do you call a duck that does drugs?

A quack head!

What kind of drugs do ducks use?

Quack.

What kind of drugs do ducks take?

The snort quack.

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Sand Jokes More Sand Jokes

What's older than sand?

The reposts on reddit.

What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand?

Sandiego

Quack Cocaine Jokes More Quack Cocaine Jokes

What type of drugs do ducks use?

What type of drugs to ducks use? Quack cocaine.

What do ducks use to get high?

Quack cocaine

Pharmacist Jokes More Pharmacist Jokes

What's the opposite of a pharmacist?

A harmacist

What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication?

You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why could the chef not cook a tree branch?

Because he used a non-stick pan.

What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?

A Waterloo

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the janitor get fired from the bank?

Because he cleaned out the vault.

What happened when porky pig fell asleep at his construction job?

The foreman fired him, saying, 'We can't have bored boars boring boards.'

Substance Jokes More Substance Jokes

What is the difference between the substance inside a fire hydrant and the substance on the outside of it?

H20 is on the inside, and K9P is on the outside.

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

How do werewolves mark their territory?

Lycanthropee

Why is your January report card so bad?

Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas!

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one