What's a woman who always knows where her husband is?

A widow.

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How do you know?

My phone is turned off.

How do you know if you're a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood.

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What does a battery have that a women hasn't?

A positive side....

What did Bob Marley say to his wife after he opened the fridge?

No, Woman, no pie.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What does the husband say to his wife whose nose is bleeding?

Nothing, he already said it twice.

What about our child?

Wife: What What child Husband: So you are not pregnant

Widow Jokes More Widow Jokes

What's a woman who always knows where her husband is?

A widow.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A widow.