How do you know?

My phone is turned off.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many controlled oposition does it take to change a light bulb?

None you know of. Since they signed a Non Disclosure Agreement to not talk about it.

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?

He turns off the PlayStation.

How do we get in?

Obi-Wan: We'll be stealthy. *turns on huge, glowing laser sword*

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What does a highlighter say when it answers the phone?

Yello?

When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?

I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones