Dude Jokes

Why don't you want to hang out with a dude from Chicago?

Because 'Illinois you!

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How do you encourage a potter while he's glazing his bowl?

Way to go dude, you're kiln it!

Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippy?

Because he was too far out... (dude).

Wheree did the king keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES LOL xp cuz it's like armies like babi talk for arms instead of an armie like a bunch of dudes w/ issues w/ theer masculinity np, glad i cud explain dis 2 u

What would you call the mailman if he got fired?

I don't know, just some dude.

How do you cut down a hipster tree?

A suuh dude!

Why do you Americans drive on the wrong side of the road?

I told him, "Dude, we literally drive on the right side."

What did one font say to the other while at the beach?

Serifs up, dude!

How do frat boys cut down trees?

With a sah, dude

What did one crow say to the other?

Caw dude

What was the deal with that dude wearing a tie and an apron at brunch?

He kept writing down everything we said, he gave me the crepes.

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How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?

Dude,I already did my time.

What did the Hippie say to the invisible elephant?

Hey dude, you're outta sight!

What the 0 said to the 8?

Nice belt, dude!

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"

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Seed Jokes More Seed Jokes

What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios?

Wow!! Donut seeds!!!!

Why does the farmer hate his job?

Because he has a deep-seeded hatred for planting.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book?

Look, buddy, I've already got a lot of problems, and I really don't need any of your drama.

B Jokes More B Jokes

What does the B in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?

Benoit B. Mandelbrot

What's a bear without an ear?

A b

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why don't you ever wear your hair down?

Me: It makes me look approachable. CW: So Me: I don't want to encourage that.

What did the little girl say when opened up a box of Cheerios?

Awww, look daddy, doughnut seeds!!!

Doubt Jokes More Doubt Jokes

What do you call someone who loves Christmas but doubts the existence of God?

Eggnog-stic.

Why did the dolphin go to church?

He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What's a lannister's favorite pop star?

Katy Perry, because you're going hear her roar

Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?

He was Bjorn again

Bad Joke Jokes More Bad Joke Jokes

How do you tell a bad joke from a good joke?

You skip the punchline.

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?

Please let me know... I have a terrible sense of humor!

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa knows to stop after three Ho's.

Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food?

He wanted something to get his teeth into.