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What does a guy drink when he wants to go out with a girl?

DATERADE

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Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists?

A. because he wanted to help untie the human race.

What's the last thing you want to see on the reddit frontpage?

This joke. PS: You don't think so Prove me wrong.

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What do I look for in a girl?

Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.

What are the 2 reasons the girl broke up with her boyfriend?

Because he was a cheetah and because he was lion too much to her.