Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

Push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the man drink two beers with his lunch?

Because he wanted to drink two beers with his lunch.

Why do people want attention of 1000 pies?

Because it's their sen-pais

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

Why are you always tired, Dad?

My 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom?

Because dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago.

What did the blind guy say to the deaf guy?

I hear what your saying, but I don't see your point

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What do you get when you push a piano down a mining shaft?

A flat minor.

Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

What did the waiter say to the customer complaining about a dirty bowl?

This is unacceptable.

What did the Australian chess player say to the waiter when he finished his meal?

Check, mate.

Menu Jokes More Menu Jokes

Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

Push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."

What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner?

Watson the menu

Special Jokes More Special Jokes

Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

Push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."

Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?

Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.