Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

Push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the student study in an airplane?

He wanted a higher education!

What do Chinos say when you take them off?

This was incredibly clever when I first thought of it but then I did some research...the closest they get to being Italian is that George Clooney was a "pioneer" for them: Reading that makes me never want to wear them again.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Why do American tourists talk so loudly?

So that they can hear each other over their clothes

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

How do you make an egg roll?

You push it

How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing?

Four. One to cut the hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

What did the waiter say to the customer complaining about a dirty bowl?

This is unacceptable.

What would you like to Instagram?

How waiters should greet people

Menu Jokes More Menu Jokes

Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

Push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."

Why was the gourmet upset when he saw the menu?

The prices were gastronomical...

Special Jokes More Special Jokes

Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

Push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."

Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?

Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.