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Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

Push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How badly?

ME: I want you checking thesaurus in a panic haphazardly

Why was the pig unhappy in the Minors?

Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan?

Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten minutes to answer.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What joke is the darkest?

Fire away please! I want to hear it all!

What's a hippie's favorite animal?

An elk It has the E, the L, and the K. Would like to hear some more if you guys have any.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

They push two twins together to make a king.

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong?

500 Internal Server Error

What did the ninja say to the waiter when asked what to drink?

The ninja replies with "Wata!"

Menu Jokes More Menu Jokes

What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner?

Watson the menu

Why doesn't your menu list prices?

Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.

Special Jokes More Special Jokes

Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

Push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."

Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?

Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.