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What did Jesus say to Melchior?

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

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Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)

How did the Romans split up their empire?

With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks)

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How do you tell a good joke on reddit?

Wash it up over and over again until you get gold!

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke

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Why wasn't Jesus any good at math?

Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.

Why was Jesus such a bad carpenter?

He couldn't remove three nails to save his life