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What is Jesus's go-to pickup line?

Would you like me to show you what it feels like to get nailed?

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What do you call a fish that likes to cook?

Bobby Fillet

Why did the parasite listen to the clock?

Because it liked the tick talk.

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How did the handyman feel after going to the bar?

He was hammered.

How does that make you feel?

ME: "Mphh mophh wampph." T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch.

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What did Jesus say to Peter?

Hebrew

Who was the first striker?

Jesus. He went for the cross

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What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

Why doesn't Jesus play hockey anymore?

He kept on getting nailed into the boards.