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What is Jesus's go-to pickup line?

Would you like me to show you what it feels like to get nailed?

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What do you call an aligator that likes to wear vests when no one else is around?

A private investigator.

What do rappers like on their burritos?

Waka Flakamole

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How does that make you feel?

ME: "Mphh mophh wampph." T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch.

How can you tell if a loaf of bread is a boy or girl?

Feel around for the dough nuts

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Why does Jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

What would Jesus's favorite gun be?

A nail gun

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What's in your mom's tummy?

5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.

What happened when the bike ran over a nail?

It popped a wheelie.