What is Jesus's go-to pickup line?

Would you like me to show you what it feels like to get nailed?

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Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise?

It's meow-sic to their ears!

What do reddit fans and Apple fans have in common?

They both like seeing the same thing a year later.

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When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

What kind of cheese gives out money?

Prova I just came up with that and feel pretty proud (:

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What were Jesus' final words?

So long and thanks for all the fish." Edit: Everyone hates me.

Why did Jesus fall on the side of the road?

Because he was crossed.

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What do you call a baby deer's droppings?

FawnDoo! Nailed it.

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails?

He cut all his fingers off!