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What's long and hard every time you wake up?

Getting out of bed. You never feel like it making hard to get up and you usually take a long time to.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why was the lizard nervous in bed?

He had reptile dysfuncton

Why don't women sleep on the left side of the bed?

Because they always want to be right.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What did the picture say to the Judge?

I WAS FRAMED! I just now made that up. I feel good about this one! Skip

Which teachers make pupils feel good about themselves?

Maths teachers, they make everybody count.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?

An alarm cluck!

Why did the band Wham! break up?

Because he didn't wake him up before he went went. It's, people.

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone?

Two days seems like a long time.

What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend?

Long time no sea.