What's long and hard every time you wake up?

Getting out of bed. You never feel like it making hard to get up and you usually take a long time to.

His wife didn't know any decent crackers.

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?

The Marine shrugged and replied, "Recoil."

How do you know if Buzzfeed article is stolen?

You get the feeling that you've Reddit before.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What's your favourite priest and a rabbi joke?

Been awhile since I've her some priest and a rabbi jokes. Hit me with your best one! Mine: a priest and a rabbi are waking down the street The priest asks " wanna screw some kids?" The rabbi replies "out if what?"