Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms?

Whatever you want

Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

How many reps would you usually do?

He asked. "A million," I rep lied.

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

Blond Jokes More Blond Jokes

Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?

Because she kept throwing out all the W's

Why did the blond take a ruler to bed?

To see how long she slept.

Bikini Jokes More Bikini Jokes

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

Midnight Jokes More Midnight Jokes

How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.

Lawn Chair Jokes More Lawn Chair Jokes

What is the first thing off the truck at a trailer fire?

Lawn chair.

Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.