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Blond Jokes

Why was the blond staring at a carton of orange juice?

Because it said concentrate.

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Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?

Because she threw out all the bent ones.

Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?

Because she kept throwing out all the W's

Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?

She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.

What do you call it when a blond dyes her hair?

Artificial Intelligence.

How do you call a blond who changed her hair color to brown?

Artificial Intelligence!

How do you call a blond who has colored her hair to brown?

Artificial intelligence!

What should you do when you see a blond with a pin in her mouth?

RUN! She's got a grenade in her mouth!

Why was the blond late on her first day of work?

Because she stopped taking the pill about a month earlier.

How does a blond cross the road?

A brunette is on a busy street across from a department store she needs to visit, and is looking for an intersection to cross over when she spots a blonde walking out of the store. The brunette waves and calls out over the traffic noise, "hey there! How do I get to the other side?" The blonde looks confused and calls back, "you ARE on the other side!"

How does a blond like her eggs in the morning?

Fertilized

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Why did the blond take a ruler to bed?

To see how long she slept.

Why didn't the blond call 911?

She couldn't find the 11 on the dial pad.

What do you call a blond that dyed her hair brown?

Artificial Intelligence

How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to spin the ladder.

What was the blond doing in the middle of the sea?

Bouncing on a buoy (boy)

Why did the blond get fired from the M&ampM factory?

Because she kept throwing out all the W's

What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black?

A glimmer of hope

Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

How do you get a blond out of a tree?

Wave

What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?

She took the 33 bus twice instead.

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Why did the blond get fired from the boomerang factory?

She threw away all the bent ones. Why did she get re-hired They all came back.

Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?

To keep here legs closed.

How does a blond, get revenge on her blond boyfriend?

She paints a target icon around the outlet.

What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up.

How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to spin the ladder.

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What do you call a charming tool?

A rake

How did the newfie injure himself raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree

High Sperm Count Jokes More High Sperm Count Jokes

What is the difference between a blonde and a blonde dude?

The blonde has a higher sperm count.

How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count?

You have to chew before you swallow!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why do you look out the window in the morning?

Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway.

How do you spot a sumo at a feminist rally?

Look for the one with shaved legs....

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?

Bingo!

How many house flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just the standard two, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there.

Spell Jokes More Spell Jokes

Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.

Why are hemorrhoid and diarrhea so hard to spell?

Like if you're talking about them, you aren't having a rough enough time already.

Blonde Jokes More Blonde Jokes

Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?

Because she was drinking on the job.

What is a brunette between two blondes?

A. An interpreter.

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

Why did Snoop Dogg go to the store before he sculpted his statue?

Fo' chisel.

What's the difference between a black man and Batman?

Batman can go inside a store without Robin

L&A Jokes More L&A Jokes

What is punctuation's favorite curry?

L&a

What's the difference between Yogurt and L.A.?

Yogurt has a live and thriving culture.