Bikini Jokes

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

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End Jokes More End Jokes

What did one slice of bread say to the other at the end of a game of chess?

It's stale, mate.

What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

Why does Vincent van Gogh always look forward to thenew year?

Because everyone wishes him a new ear.

What does Peter Parker wish he would have went to school for?

Web design.

Queen Jokes More Queen Jokes

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

Why is it hard to hold a speech at a nudist convention?

It does not help to imagine people in their underwear.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear?

Because they have electric 'eels!

Why do Native Americans wear jock straps?

TOTEM POLE

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

Why did the mathematician ignore the tan lady on the beach?

He was too concerned with the tan gent.

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Thanks for all the sediment.

Blond Jokes More Blond Jokes

What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?

She took the 33 bus twice instead.

How do you call a blond who has colored her hair to brown?

Artificial intelligence!

Marvel Jokes More Marvel Jokes

Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.