Bikini Jokes

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

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Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

How do you make the king leer?

Put the queen in a bikini! (From krusty the klown)

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are people who vape always trying to chase after bigger clouds?

More storage space.

What do you call a theme park where people go to have selfies with chickens?

Pout-ry farm..

Midnight Jokes More Midnight Jokes

How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

How do you know it's midnight at the Neverland Ranch?

The big hand's touching the little hand.

Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head?

Dead.

What's the worst part about 30 lawyers in a bus going over a cliff?

The bus could fit 30 more lawyers.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why wasn't Rome built in a day?

Because it was a government job.

What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the architect say about the rack?

How does she not fall over?

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because someone threw a fridge at her....

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

End Jokes More End Jokes

What begins with an "s", ends with a "x" and leaves a guy blown away?

Semtex.

What's high in the middle and round on both ends?

Ohio.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How 'bout this one?

Salesman: Sir, we've been over this, I don't know how many McNuggets it will hold.

What has 42 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper.