Bikini Jokes

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

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What do you call a sheman wearing a bikini?

Flaccid

Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

How do you make the king leer?

Put the queen in a bikini! (From krusty the klown)

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End Day Jokes More End Day Jokes

What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

Blond Jokes More Blond Jokes

How does a blond, get revenge on her blond boyfriend?

She paints a target icon around the outlet.

Why didn't the blond call 911?

She couldn't find the 11 on the dial pad.

Clothe Jokes More Clothe Jokes

What is the best way to hunt bear?

With your clothes off

How do you teach a girl math?

Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What does the mermaid wear to math class?

Algae-bra.

What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?

A guard dog!

Lawn Chair Jokes More Lawn Chair Jokes

Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

What is the first thing off the truck at a trailer fire?

Lawn chair.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How many people from Chernobyl does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They glow in the dark.

Why can't your jokes ever make NRA members laugh?

Because jokes don't make people laugh, people make people laugh.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Frankenstein's monster give up boxing?

Because he didn't want to spoil his looks.

What was the man running around?

From my 5yr old son Because he wanted to catch some sleep.

Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

You Pokmon!

Why have you parked your bus here?

Bus Driver: The sign says "Bus Stop."