What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

This joke may have profanity.
Previous Random Joke Next
Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake

What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?

Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Kimmel?

I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing.

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

Why does the Pirate Wear Camouflage Underwear?

To hide his booty.

End Day Jokes More End Day Jokes

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

Small Body Jokes More Small Body Jokes

What do you call it when you have enough money to but a truck from 4 different people who used to cross small bodies of water?

You can afford four fjord forders' fords.

Skittle Jokes More Skittle Jokes

What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get?

Mine is a skittle.