Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

What do spies say in bed?

Shh I'm undercovers

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What's the difference beetwen public official and private employee?

Private employee starts work checking email. Public official starts works making a coffee.

What starts out happy but ends in tears?

Marriage

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Which day is the most agreeable?

Yesterday

What did the mime say to the wall?

Tough getting by these days.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What do you call a cat when he first wakes up with the alarm clock?

Catsup!

What time does a mechanic wake up?

Oily!