Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed?

Because he is lying.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

Who's the most unpopular person at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch football match?

The person who shouted "Give me an L!"

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac?

A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

Why did the policeman stay in bed today?

He was undercover *!*

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

Whats the V in DVD stand for?

Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today.. be kind)

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why did Karl Marx always buy cheap tea?

Because he believed that all proper tea was theft.

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.