What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

A labracadabrador

Why did the dog die?

It had Barkinsons

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

Who was the dankest dictator of all time?

LMao Zedong

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What do you call someone who spends the whole time on their phone whenever you hang out?

A phoney friend!

Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How do you stay warm in a cold room?

You go to the corner cause it's always 90 degrees.

Whats the difference between the English cricket team and a teabag?

A teabag stays in the cup longer

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What did the Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac do?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

What do you call a dyslexic insomniac philosopher?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.