What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War?

Robert E Flea!

What do you call a group of dogs?

A PAW-se

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you do with the time saved?

Me: *tying my dogs shoes* Sorry, what

What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How do you make a small fortune in the movie industry?

You spend a large fortune

What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What's Irish and stays out all year?

Patty O'furniture.

How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why did Night fall?

Because Day tripped him.

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

Why is it called Finding Nemo?

Been wondering for years

What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night?

Lie in bed wondering "Is there really a dog?"