What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why did the dog keep dropping his ball?

He had barkinsons disease.

Why does a dog lick his balls?

Because he can't curve his paw into a little fist

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do we never take the time to thank mislabeled concrete?

It's mistaken for granite.

Why did the yankee wolf like southern ladies?

By the time they said "I'm not that kind of girl" they were.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What do you call a liquid that spent all its money dissolving solute?

Insolvent

Why do some writers have a hard time graphing equations?

Because they spend too much time with the x-position

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What's Irish and stays out all year?

Patty O'furniture.

What gets harder the longer it stays in your mouth?

Bubblegum

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why did Night fall?

Because Day tripped him.

What does Stalin do on a night out?

Paints the town red

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor?

Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.

What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?

Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog