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What did the pot-smoking alien say when asked what toppings he wanted on his sammich?

Ayy lil' mayo.

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Why did the mechanic go to art school?

Because he wanted to learn how to make a van go!

Why didn't the motorcycle want to go for a ride?

It was two tired...

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What would Fred Flintstone say if you asked him which city had the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world?

Abu Dhabi Dooooooo!

How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

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What toppings?

Pepperoni & a small cheese pizza" "Sir you can't top a pizza with a smaller pizza"

Why didn't Mario put more toppings on his pizza?

Because there wasn't mushroom on it.