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What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?

Dad dad look what marma-laid'!

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf

What did one Pencil say to the other?

Your looking Sharp!

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

What happened when the elephant sat on the car?

Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!

Orange Jokes More Orange Jokes

Why couldn't the apple speak to the orange?

Because he didn't know Mandarin

How do you juice an orange?

Play with its citorus

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?

Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken " Mother: "We need the eggs."

How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the ladder and one to screw your mother - I mean light bulb!