Why don't you take a train?

Monster: I did once but my mother made me give it back.

Why was the animal unhappy?

He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.

Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

Train Jokes More Train Jokes

What was Captain Picard's favorite kind of train?

N-Gauge.

How do locomotives know where they're going?

Lots of training.