What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth?

A pedi-file

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How does a boat captain determine his profit?

By using aquadratic equation. (Via my coworker)

What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uniball.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Why did the kid punch the bed?

His mother told him to hit the hay.

What's the downside to bigamy?

More than one mother-in-law.

Pedi File Jokes More Pedi File Jokes

What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth?

A pedi-file

What do you call data on a Pediatricians computer?

Pedi-files