What pen company did Lance Armstrong buy?

Uniball

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What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten?

The cat shat on the mat.

Why did Dave Grohl buy such a tall house?

He wanted to make sure he was getting the best, the best, the best, the best-a view.

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How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish?

One testtickle

What Happened when the girl sat on Lance Armstrong's lap?

She had a ball