1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout
He can't stand the 1%
1 figure, literally and figuratively.
I thought he didn't care about the 1%
3's enough. Here's 2." and gives him 1.
Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men
1
No- Good. Yes- That's too much.
Were you bit! What! Do you not know what a hurricane is
Formula 1 drooling!
2) Do you have a girlfriend 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator
2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)
Ten. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the other 9 to provide emotional support.
Because they allow 1 free carrion
The World War " "No. There's already been 1 of those" "Uh this is a world war, too" *the streetlights explode*
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Let's get rational you can't carry on like this!
1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise
Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.
2 scoops ice cream, 1 scoop dead dog.
1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money
Dear Sir/Ma'am We are cutting your internet connections for the following reasons: 1. Illegal downloading. Thank you, and have a nice day.
Darth Vader." "Was he 1 of Jesus disciples " "I dunno, I've only seen the 1st movie."
Her: No I in team Me: Isn't 1 in diet either. Her: Yes there.. Me: I'm too hungry for your mindgames!
You're turning me on!
Anywhere from 1 to 5 cats
I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.
1%
Because its natural log is 1.
Me: 1) You-- 10YO: Seriously Why would you drag me into that
Because they like to get in touch with their inner self.
There is no dirt in the hole!
Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it.
Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.
The government is opposed to euthanasia.
1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!
Because in charge of directing, Yoda was
A stable economy
Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.
A full set of teeth
Because off sequence, Yoda was.
Two. 1 to screw it in, and 1 to complain that it's not dark enough.
A family friend paying a visit.
1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it.
100. 1 to change the light bulb and the other 99 to complain about how the old light bulb was much better.
A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.
1 to hold the bulb in place and 100 to spin the house around it.
1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was
1 or 2? 1... or 2?
It had new windows Putin
Swarm.
Because one more would have been too farty.
A paleontologist.
On a plane.
Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan
One to unscrew it, and one to hold the ladder.
Why don't we have both
Just one, if you put it in the right place.
One. They simply hold the bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them.
A hundred but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.
The Captain's Log.
How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on Thanksgiving)
Dam!
They have engineers
