Why does Bernie Sanders only drink skim milk?

He can't stand the 1%

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What do you call a pirate who is lost at sea and has to drink his own pee to survive?

Aarrrrrrr Kelly!

Why should you bring two Mormons with you when you go fishing?

Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.

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What does idk stand for?

Literally everyone I ask doesn't know.

What does the H stand for in Jesus H Christ?

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The boy stumbles: "Well euhm... nothing I guess." "Thanks, I'll have 2 million drops then"

Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?

I thought he didn't care about the 1%

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What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

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What do you call paddling down a river of skim milk?

White water rafting.

Why does Bernie Sanders only drink skim milk?

He can't stand the 1%