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How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?

1 or 2? 1... or 2...

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Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.

How do you spell "candy" with only 2 letters?

And

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What is 50 Cent's guiding philosophy?

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Why did the stoplight turn red?

Well, you would too, if you had to change in front of that many people!

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What is a horses number 1 priority when voting?

A stable economy

What's the difference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus?

It only took 1 nail to hang the picture.