What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?

It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!

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How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in the socket and the other to drink until the room starts spinning!

How does Craig Venter drink beer?

Shotgun method

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What happened when the orange slept with the dirty lemon?

He got lemonaids.

What happened to the Russians and Austrians at Austerlitz?

They got Napoleon Blownapart! Happy 200th Anniversary of Waterloo everyone!

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Why did the turkey cross the road?

To get to.

What did the road say to the chicken?

If you cross me it will be the last thing you do!

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Why do the English always carry umbrellas?

Because umbrellas can't walk

What is Queen's (the band, not the monarch) favourite type of luggage?

Carry ooooooooonnnn, carry ooooooonnnnnnnnnn

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?

It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!

Why was Pinocchio acting drunk?

He couldn't handle his lacquer

Brandy Jokes More Brandy Jokes

Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food?

He wanted to raised stewed beef!

What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?

It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!