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What did 0 say to 1?

You're turning me on!

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How did the Frenchman get turned on?

He French-kissed a power outlet

Why did the faucet turn on?

It was feeling.

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Why do you have 0 viewers on Twitch?

Because not even Nightbot is watching you.

What's the difference between garbanzo beans an chickpeas?

I don't have to play $50 for a garbanzo bean in my face.

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How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe?

No- Good. Yes- That's too much.

Where is the best place for a 1-legged waitress to work?

IHOP