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What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

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Why did the mathematician get an F on his English quiz?

He wrote, "i is the square root of negative 1."

How much power does a hearse have?

1 corpsepower

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What's the difference between training wheels and training bras?

I need two hands to remove training wheels.

What's the biggest similarity between a bottle of Draino and a Danish stripper?

They both slowly remove clogs.

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Why does Bernie Sanders use Snapchat?

Damn E-mails!

Why did the two chickens cross the road?

To avoid debating Bernie Sanders

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How does a man on a moon get his haircut?

Eclipse it.

What kind of haircut does the black judge have?

Jury Curls