What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

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Why does Bernie Sanders only drink skim milk?

He can't stand the 1%

How much power does a hearse have?

1 corpsepower

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How do you make a witch scratch?

Remove the w

How do you make a Welsh person comfortable while playing Scrabble?

Remove the vowels in his rack.

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What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

What do you call sandpaper on fire?

Bernie Sanders

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What did the furniture salesman say when he wasn't happy with his haircut?

Its a chaise lounge.

Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?

No, I got them all cut.