Throw in your laundry.
K
Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.
Me: *names two of them*
I do.
Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.
Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk
An elevator has a GF
Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.
Son of a Bith!
Son: ... Me: It's also a famous explorer. Son: Dora Me: Yep. Dora, Ohio.
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
In the midnight hour she cried "Moe! Moe! Moe!"
Their odds of winning are the same
She was the beast of the show!
On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)
Wow, I didn't know you could yodel!
Cats can't drive!
Driving
A cussomer.
You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"
Shucks
Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.
Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar -Change management.
