Describe Jokes

How would you describe a transistor to a caveman?

Ooga booga baby!

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How did the bad Canadian fisherman describe his only catch of the day?

Aboot this big.

How would you describe the average bully?

Mean.

How would you describe Frankenstein's birth?

Shocking!

Which unit describes the intensity of light in South Africa?

Nelson Candela

How do you describe Neapolitan ice cream to someone?

Your two favorite flavors plus strawberry

How do you describe Catwoman in one word?

Purrfect

How do you describe a Swede, who's not really a Swede?

Swed-ish.

How do you describe the bears?

Fast and Furious 7

How would you describe a joke about bones?

Humerus.97

How would Arnold Schwarzenegger describe a sousaphone?

It's not a tuba!

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What adjective do you use to describe a bad pun?

Pungent

How do you describe people who tell "I see dead people" jokes?

They have a sixth sense of humor

Why is Dave Mustaine described as "heavy metal"?

Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)

How would you describe Al Gore playing the drums?

Algorithm.

What's the best language to describe the hectic holiday shopping season?

Russian

Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask?

You are a duck. No one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth.

How did the hail stone describe it's life?

It really has a lot of ups and downs

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

How do Freudians describe the human mind?

As a huge ENEMA, I mean huge enigma.....

How would you describe yourself in 3 words or less?

Doesn't follow instructions very well.

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What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

How would you describe your past work?

Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar -Change management.

How would you describe yourself?

Me: Verbally. But I've also prepared a dance.

How do you describe a hierarchy of police officers with only one word?

Police police police police police police police police police police police.

How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician?

Cold and calculating.

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Word Jokes More Word Jokes

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

Why did the very religious man not say a word while he was fasting?

He was afraid that he would swallow his words.

Neapolitan Jokes More Neapolitan Jokes

How do you describe Neapolitan ice cream to someone?

Your two favorite flavors plus strawberry

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?

Deja Moo!

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do cannonballs do when they fall in love?

They make bbs

Why does a walrus love Tupperware?

Because he's always looking for a tight seal.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why did Ken and Barbie never have any kids?

Ken always came in a different box.

What was Justin Timberlake called when he was a kid?

Justin Timberpuddle!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day?

Because Russia was Stalin

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?

To get to the dark side...

What do you call the fourth musketeer if he's gone to the dark side?

Darth-tagnan

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why isn't Spiderman in the Avengers?

Because a black widow has no husband.

Why did the woman turn to her husband and say "now who the hell would dump such a nice sofa out here in the woods?

She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs.