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Describe Jokes

How would you describe a transistor to a caveman?

Ooga booga baby!

We've Got This Love Thing Down
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How did the bad Canadian fisherman describe his only catch of the day?

Aboot this big

How would you describe the average bully?

Mean.

How a husband describe his wife?

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

How would you describe Frankenstein's birth?

Shocking!

Why do women love chocolate?

Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

Which unit describes the intensity of light in South Africa?

Nelson Candela

How do you describe Neapolitan ice cream to someone?

Your two favorite flavors plus strawberry

How do you describe every gf in one word?

K

What "c word" describes my girlfriend and why I'm not getting any?

Carpaltunnel

How do you describe Catwoman in one word?

Purrfect

Your Age Is Only Math
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Your Age Is Only Math

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How do you describe a Swede, who's not really a Swede?

Swed-ish.

How do you describe the bears?

Fast and Furious 7

How would you describe a joke about bones?

Humerus.97

How would Arnold Schwarzenegger describe a sousaphone?

It's not a tuba!

What adjective do you use to describe a bad pun?

Pungent

How do you describe people who tell "I see dead people" jokes?

They have a sixth sense of humor

What television show best describes a mothers virginity?

Lost

Why is Dave Mustaine described as "heavy metal"?

Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)

What term is used to describe a phenomenon where a European mans ejaculates prematurely?

Pole Position

How would you describe Al Gore playing the drums?

Algorithm.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes
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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's the best language to describe the hectic holiday shopping season?

Russian

Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask?

You are a duck. No one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth.

How did the Somali terrorist describe his flight?

It was dynamite!

How did the hail stone describe it's life?

It really has a lot of ups and downs

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

What food describes most men?

Jerky.

How do you describe the life of a redditor?

Removed

How would you describe that green sheep?

Me: I don't know. Olive ewe Her: I knew you'd say it first! I love you too! Entrapment 101

What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?

GINGER.

When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress?

I'd prefer if you included tigress

I Love Pizza & You
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I Love Pizza & You

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How do Freudians describe the human mind?

As a huge ENEMA, I mean huge enigma.....

How would you describe yourself in 3 words or less?

Doesn't follow instructions very well.

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

How would you describe your past work?

Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar -Change management.

How would you describe yourself?

Me: Verbally. But I've also prepared a dance.

How do you describe a hierarchy of police officers with only one word?

Police police police police police police police police police police police.

How would you best describe him?

Me: He looks like a miniature cat

How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician?

Cold and calculating.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do Jedi use to view PDF files?

Adobe-Wan Kenobi

Why do pterodactyls use the bathroom so quietly?

Because their p is quiet.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

What do you get when you cross the Cosby Show with Law &amp Order: SVU?

Women Say the Darndest Things

Copy Jokes More Copy Jokes

What's the difference between a pun and a copy of Cliff's Notes?

A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays

How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. Plus a portable phone an Internet link and a copy of the "Bluffer's Guide to Changing Lightbulbs."

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do fencers love Reddit?

Because of all the *ripostes*

What's black and white... What's black and white and loves kids?

Michael Jackson

K Jokes More K Jokes

What's a hippies favorite animal?

An elk. He's got the E. the L. and the K.

What girl's name is like a letter?

Kay (K).

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What's the magic word?

Cut to them back at the station writing on a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off

What two words have the most letters?

Post office.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why can't Caitlyn Jenner lie to her kids?

She's a transparent.

What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no limbs?

Names.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why didnt the witch have any children?

Because her husband had a hollow weenie

Why Arent You Taking Me With You To Bangkok?

Husband: Because Nobody Carries A Tiffin To A Restaurant. "If U Didn't Get It Go Watch Pogo":p