When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are ...

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What do your mom and monkeys have in common?

Macaque

What did justin beiber say to his mom?

I FOUND MY MICROSCOPE, now all I need is my lotion and tweezers

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What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at his local pub?

The landlord said "Sorry we don't serve spirits."

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

He proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

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What do you name a girlfriend you haven't had for a long time?

Palmela Handerson

What's imaginary that my girlfriend and I afraid to forget?

My girlfriend

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What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

Why don't you play with your friends?

He asked. 'Because I only have one friend' the girl replied. 'And I hate her.'

Taxis Jokes More Taxis Jokes

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right