When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Why was the cookie crying?

Because it's mom was a wafer so long.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How can you ask a Mexican if their zodiac sign is leo?

Julio

Why ever not?

The teacher doesn't know a thing all she does is ask questions!

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What exactly is going on?

I asked. He replied, "A Major engineering feet."

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

Taxis Jokes More Taxis Jokes

Why is it so expensive to live in Ireland?

Cause they keep *Dublin* the taxes.

How many Republicans does it take to raise your taxes?

None. The Democrats do that.