When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Why didn't your back break, mom?

You're adopted.

What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When people say "May I ask who's calling?

I like to say "Sure, go ahead."

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend?

When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job.

What did the stoner say to his girlfriend?

We'd be good together.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

He proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Taxis Jokes More Taxis Jokes

Why is it so expensive to live in Ireland?

Cause they keep *Dublin* the taxes.

What do condoms and taxes have in common?

Republicans are against them and Democrats want more for schools.