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When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do Aids, Syphilis and Chlamydia have in common?

Your mom.

What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What's the best way to break up with your girlfriend?

On the front page of reddit.

What did the girlfriend, say to her boyfriend, when he showed up for sushi?

Wha suh b?

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How long will the pizza be?

The waiter replies "About 12 inches."

How are you able to stay in bed all morning without getting up to pee?

He replied......It's hard

Taxis Jokes More Taxis Jokes

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

How many Republicans does it take to raise your taxes?

None. The Democrats do that.