Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions
A mocking bird!
Nobody likes the black ones.
Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.
If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.
Because it's a nappy time.
Because he had a Halloweenie! (Hollow-weenie)
Boy: Because he read the label and it said 'shake well before using.'
One with a cemetery plot.
Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:
Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.
Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.
They know how to tuck away junk.
With a drum machine you only have to punch the instructions in once
Because the instructions usually say: "Take after meals."
Good jab.
