Instruction Jokes

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

With a drum machine you only have to punch the instructions in once

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How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

How would you describe yourself in 3 words or less?

Doesn't follow instructions very well.

Why wasn't I able to see the instruction manual?

Because the instructions were clear.

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Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why did the witch get a car with manual transmission?

Because she prefers to drive stick!

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?

A furry Merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!

Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat?

Cats can't drive!

Meal Jokes More Meal Jokes

What is an Italian redditors favorite meal?

Fettuccini Alfedora.

What does a cannibal call a skateboarder?

Meals on wheels.

Medicine Jokes More Medicine Jokes

What medicine would you give an ill ant?

Antibiotics!

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why is a baby like an diamond?

Because it's a dear little thing.

What did the ceiling fan say?

YEEEEAAAAH! GO CEILING! YOU NUMBER ONE BABY! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!

Spanish Jokes More Spanish Jokes

Why do Spanish tests take so long?

Because of all the ese questions.

What do you call a bird that speaks Spanish?

A Si-gull

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What language do British wrenches speech?

Spanish!

What language do eagles program in?

C#(https://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/3tp03o/incanadawehavesomenicefalcons/cx8608n)

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What kind of jokes does a zombie make?

Dad jokes.

What kind of jokes do farmers tell?

CORNY JOKES!!!