Robot Jokes

What do you call a #robot stranded in the ocean?

A row bot.

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What do you call it when two robots miscommunicate?

A syntax error.

Where do Robots go for fun?

The Circuits! (this is a joke i made up when i was like 10, i don't think it ever caught on)

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

Why did the robot cross the road?

Because it was carbon bonded to the chicken.

What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

What did the robot say to the gas pump?

Take your finger out of your ear and listen to me!

What do you say when a robot explodes into pieces?

Rest in pieces.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot?

Steel wool

What do robots do at the rave?

They torque.

What do you call a pony mixed with a robot?

RoboClop....so sorry

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Why did the robot get the electric chair?

Because he was charged with battery.

Why do Transformers always have their heads in the clouds?

They're robots in da skies.

Why don't robots have any brothers?

They all have transisters.

What did the robot say to the other robot as they destroyed each other?

Nothing personal.

What do you call a robot that doesn't support his children?

Nuts and bolts

What do robots do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What do you call the process of a robot clearing its artificial nose?

An olfactory reset.

Why are robots never afraid?

Because they have nerves of steel

What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Yours tin-sincerely.

Why was the robot cold?

He was missing his winter gear

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Why did the robot get detention?

Because he was accused of Boolean.

What do you call a robot doing the Gangnam Style dance?

A Psy-borg.

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Dance Robot Jokes More Dance Robot Jokes

What did the man say when he got his dancing robot to work?

It twerks!" I don't know how this came to me..

What do you call a movie about dancing robots?

Step Up: Transformers.

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

Why did the python return his pants?

They were too constricting.

Why did the storm trooper return his iPhone?

Because it wasn't the droid he was looking for!

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What do you call the boss hit by a shrink ray?

Micromanagement!

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one is a watermelon.

New Girlfriend Jokes More New Girlfriend Jokes

Why are you so upset?

It's just hair. I'm the one that's gotta find a new girlfriend.

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What's common between a crying baby and a gun?

You must not bring either to the movies.

What do you call someone who confuses Emma Stone and Mila Kunis in a movie?

A bad judge of character.

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

Why did the robot cross the road?

Because it was carbon bonded to the chicken.

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

What type of trees do chickens grow on?

Poul-trees

What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?

A pecking order.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York harbour?

Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

How many frat boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Four. One to change the bulb, three to stand around so he has someone to hi-five after.