What is the opposite of paranoia?

Thinking you are following someone.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do you shave your balls?

After thinking for a few moments I say "Carefully"

How hard do you think Joe Biden laughs when a Senate's bill gets 69 votes?

I bet he has to leave the room.

Opposite Jokes More Opposite Jokes

What's the opposite of a hipster?

A napster

Whats the opposite of feminism?

Common sense

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.