How do you get to a position of power in a science lab?

Work over time

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

How 'done' do you want your burger?

I can do "well-done" all the way to "CPR might actually work."

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Who were the fastest readers of all time?

The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?

Because an itch in time saves nine.

Position Jokes More Position Jokes

How do you get to a position of power in a science lab?

Work over time

Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home?

Because they won't commute.

Power Jokes More Power Jokes

How is it that magic carpets are able to fly?

They are powered by turban engines.

What do you call a seafood restaurant that generates its own power?

A fission-chips shop.