A redditor
Because he might fiddle with your kids.
Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.
I'm funny that way.
They'll tell you in their novel.
BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE
A redditor.
Two pies to the face and one somewhere in a field in Pennsylvania.
I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.