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What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!

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What happened when the Samsung Note 7 was launched?

It was an explosive success

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had?

The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had!

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What do pancakes and kids have in common?

The first one usually gets screwed up.

Why do priests have lots of kids?

They always use the holy condoms.

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Why are the police so corrupt?

Because criminals keep turning themselves into the police.

Why did the Tour de France get raided?

The police heard it was full of pedal-philes.

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How can you tell this joke was submitted by a woman?

No, wait.

How do you tell if you've posted an anitjoke in /r/Jokes?

If someone comments saying you posted an antijoke and that you should rather post your joke in /r/antijokes.

Lochte Jokes More Lochte Jokes

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!

Teammate Jokes More Teammate Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

I'm gonna level with you.

Medale Jokes More Medale Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.