Teammate Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!

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Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

I'm gonna level with you.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the best thing about kids?

Making them!!!

Why is Grace never thirsty?

Because she's always drinking from the coup de Grace. (This was my sister's favourite joke when we were kids. Once our mum flipped out on a long car journey because she told it too many times).

Medale Jokes More Medale Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Where do police put their drinks?

Copholders

What did the police say to the hot dog?

You are under arrest.

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why can't Mexico field a winning Olympic team?

Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is in the US.

Why does Mexico never win the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim already left.

Level Jokes More Level Jokes

What do you put in an actor's drink... OC to raise the level of anticipation at the Oscars?

Expectorant(/spoiler)

What is a joke that works on many levels?

HR Department.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

Michael Phelps Jokes More Michael Phelps Jokes

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

Why does Michael Phelps make a good boyfriend?

He is a good breast-stroker.

Shakespeare Jokes More Shakespeare Jokes

Why was Shakespeare always a good teammate to have?

Because no matter the sport, he would always play write

What is Shakespeare's favourite writing utensil?

I don't know, but it was either 2B or not 2B.