Teammate Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!

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Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

I'm gonna level with you.

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Police Jokes More Police Jokes

What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus?

The police made him bring it back again.

What do driving and dating have in common?

Both end up with you being chased by the police if you go too fast.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

Because she used the other to sing

How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo?

Write 'pp espressivo'.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

Why did Jared lose so much weight?

He always went for the 6 instead of the 12

Storm Jokes More Storm Jokes

Why was the storm trooper such a good dad?

He could never hit his kids.

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Lochte Jokes More Lochte Jokes

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

What else did Lochte say after the truth came out?

This did not go swimmingly at all

Level Jokes More Level Jokes

Why are elevator jokes so funny?

Because they work on so many levels

What do you put in an actor's drink... OC to raise the level of anticipation at the Oscars?

Expectorant(/spoiler)

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

Curses, foiled again!

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Phelp Jokes More Phelp Jokes

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.