Michael Phelps Jokes

How amazing is Michael Phelps?

He's got like a Brazilian Medals.

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What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

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Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

How do you open a door underwater?

You swimming pull

What has two knees and swims in the ocean?

A Two-knee fish!.....

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

What's the best way to prepare baby food?

Shake'n bake.

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why are Werewolves such pessimists?

They refuse to look at the silver lining.

Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?

It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

How do black people grow?

Their knee grows!

What do black people drive?

House prices down

Phelp Jokes More Phelp Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

Teammate Jokes More Teammate Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

I'm gonna level with you.

Brazilian Jokes More Brazilian Jokes

How many South Americans are boycotting the World Cup final?

Brazilians

How many people in Brazil shave?

A Brazilian.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Why didn't rail Castro want to be President of Cuba?

He didn't want to play second fidel

What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second