Michael Phelps Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps make a good boyfriend?

He is a good breast-stroker.

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How amazing is Michael Phelps?

He's got like a Brazilian Medals.

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Why aren't the Williams sisters competing against Michael Phelps?

Black people can't swim.

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Phelp Jokes More Phelp Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool?

Bob.

Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?

Black people can't swim. -.-

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world?

All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it.

How does NASA prepare for an organized event?

They planet!

Brazilian Jokes More Brazilian Jokes

How many South American people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A Brazilian

How many portuguese people can fit on a scooter?

A Brazilian

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

What do you call a candelabra that refuses to hold candles?

A candle-nah-brah

Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

Because she refused to make a sandwich

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why does Mexico never win the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim already left.

How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year?

Not too well considering they can't finish a race.

Aid Jokes More Aid Jokes

What's worse than getting AIDs?

Having to find out that your dog has AIDs too.

What do Aids, Syphilis and Chlamydia have in common?

Your mom.

Men Jokes More Men Jokes

Why are womens feet shorter than mens?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

What's a priest's favorite X-men?

A-Men.