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Phelp Jokes

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

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Brazilian Jokes More Brazilian Jokes

How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away.

How many people in Brazil shave?

A Brazilian.

Lochte Jokes More Lochte Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

What do composers prepare their ingredients on?

A Chopin board

What's the difference between an astronaut and a NASA intern?

One's constantly preparing for lunch.

Bacteria Jokes More Bacteria Jokes

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

Rob Jokes More Rob Jokes

What happened to the Greek dairy farmer who got robbed on his way to market?

He was un-feta-ed of his cheese.

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why can't Mexico field a winning Olympic team?

Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is in the US.

Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics?

Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

Why do black people have white hands and feet?

Because everyone has a little bit of good in them.

Why do black people like the rain?

For drizzle.

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Where do hipsters swim?

Not in the mainstream

What's grey and can't swim?

A castle