Medale Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!

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What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

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Runner Jokes More Runner Jokes

Why are most runners single?

At best they're ASICS.

What do you call a race where all the runners have no legs?

An arms race.

Usa Jokes More Usa Jokes

What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?

A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!

Who succeeded the first President of the USA?

The second one!

Swimmer Jokes More Swimmer Jokes

Why does Mexico never get gold medals in Olympics?

Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.

What do a priest and a swimmer who came in second have in common?

The both came in a little behind

Michael Phelps Jokes More Michael Phelps Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

Brazilian Jokes More Brazilian Jokes

How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away.

What do Brazilian cats speak?

Purr-tuguese

Border Jokes More Border Jokes

What do you call drawings of dog poop that don't have outlines?

Dog turds without borders

Where do Mexicans shop for books?

Borders

Disable Jokes More Disable Jokes

Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard?

Try to disable sticky keys.

Why are all castles disabled?

They all have tur-rets

Jumper Jokes More Jumper Jokes

Why doesn't Mexico win Olympic Medals?

Because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper?

Warren!