Cause North and South Poles repel each other...
Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.
ABCD
A trip without kids.
They both give kids a little head.
Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it
Fo' Frizzle
Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!
ARE YE READY KIDS!
They are both over the counter strike
A rebel without a Claus.
Me too*
I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."
Me: When are you going to stop
A kid.
The bus driver stops to let the kids out.
Me: i have no idea what he's for
Bye, son.
Wait for it... wait for it...) brucilage!!!!!!!!
I feel like a kid again
Get in the carrrrrrrrrrrr!
He can't get to 3rd base
A real hootenanny!
The kid is over 5 feet tall.
Molest them
Don't talk with someone in your mouth.
Just planning ahead...
Ice cubes.
Gloves. Ha! Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.
I guess she is trans parent now Edit: *through
Jose and Hose-B
The first one usually gets screwed up.
You don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say My little joke
A elevator can raise a kid
Ask Jozsef Barsi.
They wanted to see it crack up!
Matt.
Mumbai
On their fingers
Because 30 is too many!
Q*berty. (my kids wrote this!)
He asked. I said, "they're still together."
Because when they are kids their mothers always tell them: "If you grow up you have to work" *Translated from Italian hope it makes as much sense as there
Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath
Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one.
A migraine
Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.
Naughty pine
My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing.
New gloves for the cold days
One kid in three trash cans
People without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids
Because there was a 50% chance of rain
Because they always turn out in-bread.
I dunno. Ask the kids.
To give their kids a wide birth.
Zoolander
Names.
Are you kidding They won't even change a five dollar bill.
Ein stein. - From Big Nate, as told by my kid.
They don't like their vegetables.
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis.
Toyodas
His mother told him to hit the hay.
Me: You really aren't my kid are you
Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift
Kid: My dad He's an actor Me: Why Couldn't you get a real dad
KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods
Kid: At the Joke shop.
Because he was a bear a-singing...... I am at Disney with the kids this week...
I dont know, hes still trying to kick it open.
Arrr son!
He wanted to be cool.
Bison
Because a vasectomy would heal in seconds and he doesn't look like he'd wear a rubber or pull out.
Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes
Moo. As told by my kid this morning.
Sounds like he had already done the... time
Let's go ride bikes!
Because it was rated arrr!
To get to the other slide.
So time would fly.
I mean, it is only hanging by threads...
Because the thread has been locked by a moderator
He said he was in town to shoot a pilot.
Peter Parker can shoot webs. Clark Kent.
He couldn't handle his boos.
They figured three squares was enough for the sewers to handle.
He drinks it just like he drinks every other kind of spirit.
Red paint! Whats green, and smells like red paint Green paint :) Can't believe how many time I switch to the second, and they don't get it!
Twelve
Peer pressure
PEEr pressure!
He had a chicken stapled to his face.
They're both staples.
Under his buccan-hat.
Kid asks, "Where are your buccaneers?" Pirate replies, "They're under my Buccan Hat!"
