She's a transparent.
Natural selection.
A redditor
Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out
Lourdes. Mother Theresa always goes there.
Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?
Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....
Because Rudolph intentionally grounded the team...
Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us
You don't have to pay for the glue to sniff...
And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!
To remind them why there's no money in it
I stopped butchering goats.
I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.
Because it was rated R.
Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.
A kid can joke but a joke cannot kid.
Hello from the other slIIIIiiiIIIIide
His wife and kids.
To go to a better place.
Lets go play on our bikes.
To show his friends he had guts. And boy, did he have guts.
The chewy center.
Poverty
They throw silverware on the ground!
Kid asks, "Where are your buccaneers?" Pirate replies, "They're under my Buccan Hat!"
The slide into poverty.
Names.
It's too complex
GLOVES! Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet.
Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.
Probably not. Opie delivered.
An anti-hissy-tamine.
Take your finger out of your ear and listen to me!
Ken always came in a different box.
A wharfanage
Bill and Sue
He was fiddling with the kids. *
Because Ken came in another box.
Hip-Pop
Nana boo boo
Kids are their definition of a good time.
Because the bus hit him.
More than you can shake a stick at
He was told not to play with his food.
Making them.
An ambulance.
Theeeeeeeeey Never expect the Spanish Inquisition!
Cause he has a Halloweenie
To get to the other slide. Edit: spelling.
Inconceivable.
Bison
Icy dead people!
Sandiego
Because you don't want them hanging around Parks at night.
A trip without the kids.
They never got a reaction out of him.
Chicks are for kids!
Both are yelling at the same kid.
A kid with cerebral palsy living in Australia
A trip without the kids
Justin Timberpuddle!
To boldly split infinitives!
Stop using Chex as a weapon!
Because all the kids have to play in side.
Ken came in a different box.
Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...
On a scale from Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky, how much do you love kids?
It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.
Making them!!!
Because they have Hollow-Weinies
Anyone else got some fun jokes your kids have told you?
Kids
Are you kidding She was the most beautiful woman in the world! Can you imagine what her sons would of looked like
Child custardy
Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...
At whine o'clock.
May the force be with you
Because they contain a lot of fowl language.
Her: I'm making Chinese. Me: Cloning's unethical. Hahaha just kidding. Make me a math tutor.
You planet early.
Are you kidding That's a hardware problem!
A kid who loves halalpenos
WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels
He had a lot of aspirations.
Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'
Me *turns around and goes back out*
They're too mature for their taste
Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)
Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet.
Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.
My neighbour isn't unknowingly raising two of my goats.
Atrophy.
You're single with no kids." Me: " Exactly."
Cause North and South Poles repel each other...
Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.
ABCD
A trip without kids.
They both give kids a little head.
Because he can't take a shot to the head.
Because he wasnt far enough from the 3pt line to take the shot.
I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."
He proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."
Laughing stalk
Laughing stock.
Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.
Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes
If you have to explain it then it is not that good.
Michael Chewbacca EDIT: Some people don't get the joke..... Michael schumacher is a F1 race car driving legend.
Guten tag!
A pit bull coming back from the playground.
Under his buccan-hat.
Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!
Asked Jerry Sandusky for his lil black book.
