How do I raise my kids?

Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it

Previous Random Joke Next
Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes

What's the best thing about kids?

Making them!!!

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How do you stay warm outside in the winter?

You just stand in a corner, they are usually around 90 degrees.

What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?

A receding hare line.

Knee Jokes More Knee Jokes

Why does the boy could not bend his knees?

Because he had no knees

What do you call a British guy who throws a spear through the knee?

Britney Spears

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

What's the difference between a black dad and a elevator?

A elevator can raise a kid

What's the difference between a goat and a kid?

My neighbour isn't unknowingly raising two of my goats.

Grab Jokes More Grab Jokes

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

Bend Jokes More Bend Jokes

How do I raise my kids?

Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it

What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?

Dough Nuts

Arm Pit Jokes More Arm Pit Jokes

How do I raise my kids?

Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it